Sages

Peering through teary eyes, I look over at where my sages had been. Only emptiness fills the vacuum left by their former presence.

"This isn't the way it was supposed to be!" I cry out to the darkness around me.

"The fact that this is how things have become prove it was supposed to be this way." The memories of those who once filled the void answer back.

My sages, my wise ones. They connected me to spirit and consciousness I hadn't experienced.

"I thought you would always be there. We all said you would..." I sobbed uncontrollably, floating through the abyss.

"Those were merely words. Words that fell and were unnoticed like a single grain of sand. Our actions are what survive eternity; our words will forever be lost." The memories echoed back.

They had been around for as long as I can remember. Parts of a whole, we were. Both physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Whole. It was Nirvana when we were around. We were able to shake hands, hug, hold, love, and be. It was an all-consuming feeling.

"I cannot do this alone. I am so alone..." I let the wave of anger get supressed by sadness as another wave of tears rolled down my face.

"If you cannot, then you will perish. A long, slow, painful deah. Emotional death, spiritual death, then eventually your physical self shall perish. Is this what you wish?" My brain rattled from the bluntness of the statement.

The anger came out now. No longer contained.

"You all left me! You are gone! I am all alone and you wish me dead! You want me to suffer without you! You are selfish." I screamed.

"Yes, anger, let it out. It's healthy. Selfish? Who is selfish? The ones who leave to continue their own journies, or the man crying for others to change and alter their lives to be apart of his? You should really understand your language's definitions before spouting them out." The memories and the void seemed to sneer at me. Mocking me.

It had been many long years. We had experienced every journey there was to imagine, and still we had held together, still had limitless adventures to undergo.

I didnt speak.

"Silence? Do not mistake your silence for acceptance. You are far from that. You must understand what has happened. Allow the emotions to come through, and run their course. If you will not speak on your own, how about a question? If we are gone, then to whom are you speaking?"

The question seemed simple to begin with, I was going to give the simple and obvious answer. I paused. Then answered anyway, to test my theory.

"I am talking to myself..."

"Yes, yes you are. But why is it that you are being answered in ways you would not answer yourself?"

"Because... it doesn't matter if you are here or not. I know exactly what you will say. I already have the wisdom that I thought I needed you around to inbue me with. You have already given me that gift, and it can never leave."

"Like a scar. For better or worse, it will always be there, and everytime you see it, you will have all the same memories you had as if it had just happened. Our impressions on you had no effect on physical proximity or how often we spoke. Just by having the experiences we have had together, we have made a permanent version of each other in each of our consciousness"

I sat up. I could see the circular floor under me. The void passed by as I stood on the platform. I was no longer drifting through darkness, and now gliding through the unknown. The pedestals where my sages had once stood were again visible.

"Allow us to be where we were and exactly what we were. A scar may make you smile and frown, but it will forever be there, and you must let it just be. Choose to enjoy the good memories, but understand the bad ones. Let them both pass through you effortlessly."

I remembered each and every one of my sages, friends, my loves. Their faces, their voices, their spirits, their auras, their happiness, their sadness, their anger, their clothes, their skin, their love, their eyes, their consciousness, their words.

Each of the spots where they used to stand began to fill as I remembered each part of them.

Finally they were all there again, as if they had never left. All smiling.

There was an extra spot now, one that was open.

"Why is there an extra spot? Nobody is missing."

My sages all laughed simultaneously.

"Nobody that you know yet is missing. You are naive but we didnt think you were -that- naive. Even if we were all going to always be together, you thought it would be -just- us?" They laughed again, then continued...

"That spot is just one, and once it is filled, it will lead you to circles beyond this one. Your spirit is old and you are wise beyond your years, but remember, you are still very young. Not even a quarter through your physical existence."

I spoke now, smiling at the familiar faces that beemed at me.

"Thank you. I love you all so much. I love you more than anything. I love you more than anything can express."

"I love you too." They spoke in unison. "Remember us."